All Things But None

Looking back, next week it'll be two years since I came back from Melbourne... to see my sister Medina before we said our goodbyes. Two full years... seems like last week I was just talking about her... thinking about the past. Re-reading my One Year post, I also mentioned about my friend's mother, who was at the time diagnosed with cancer and her doctor gave her a year's time... She passed away this May. Bless be.

Not too many things are truly significant in this lifetime, yet these are the events that are deeply etched in our lifelines...

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Currently listening:
Nuno Malo - White Bodhisavtta [Part II] (Edit)

Rummaging through my old photos on the computer and this I find. This was a photo done in the early 90's I believe, when the original Adobe Photoshop came in diskettes [what are those?!?], and the online giant AOL just came onboard [which pretty much took over my life!] and that Ayris was my name.

I don't recall how the name Ayris came about, but I guess somehow it was 'important' and that it holds some sort of significance to me. I even had it as my vanity license plates on my Jeep at the time. Have you driven in a Wrangler with the top and the doors off? Driving on the freeway on wintry [well, southern California's] nights where hardly any car was near... It's quite the bliss!

Not sure exactly what this entry is about but thinking about the old days does bring back a lot memories... Being a young adult yet sometimes the light's a bit too dark, but those were the years of my self-discovery... The most free; I felt like a rebel. From those years, I realized that one hasn't really learned much until life rubs your face in the dirt. Maybe the foregoing statement was the point I was trying to get across with this post? Maybe not.

I guess a lot of feelings can be attached to a name! I really need to take some new pictures.

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Currently listening:
The Chameleons UK - Tears [Slow version]

You know now that I'm older, I think I've gotten quite responsible as an adult. A "responsible" adult... woohoo! Or at least I would like to think so, and I do like the sound of that. I used to tell myself that as long as I am responsible for my actions, I'm doing quite alright. As long as I know and realize what my consequences are, and that I'm able to face up to and accept whatever comes my way--in whatever I do--I'd be okay with it... I will have absolutely no regrets! Sounds like a plan don't it?

But these days when I think about it again, I realized that alone is not enough and that is but a small part of the whole! I have yet much to learn [like not ending a sentence with a preposition!] and many experiences to look forward to!

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Currently listening:
Philip Glass - In The Upper Room Dance VIII

THE MYSTERY AND MAGIC OF THE MIND
On clear, starry nights, I go outside and gaze at the sky. I am always amazed at the vastness of the universe: thousands of stars visible to the naked eye, millions upon millions beyond the limits of our vision, and a sky whose extent is unknown. Along with feelings of enthusiasm and excitement, I am filled with wonder and reverence because this fascinating, beautiful universe is, at the same time, a great unfathomable mystery.

When I walk back home and settle down for my last meditation session of the day, I close my eyes and slowly bring my mental chatter under control. As I look deep into my mind I experience another universe, an inner universe extending into eternity. Like the outer universe, it is a mysterious and magical place. It has boundless energy and creativity, manifesting in the unique entity I think of myself.

To observe the outer universe, I step into an open field. To observe the inner universe, I step into a quiet place within myself. From that quiet place, I observe the busy and noisy activities of the mind. At times I am startled by its speed. The memories, imaginations, fantasies, and thoughts all compete among themselves to take center stage.

I think all the time. Even when I am sleeping, my mind is either dreaming or acting as a "security guard," waiting to wake me if necessary. Yet this very mind that I think with all the time remains a great mystery to me.

A teacher of mine used to say that there is a saint and a criminal within each person. For some, the mind is a sanctuary; for others, it is a dark and painful prison. Both are potential states of mind driven by many forces that are hard to understand. Forming our thoughts and molding our personalities, the mind dominates our lives.

Text by Bhante Y. Wimala

The mind as a whole is something that's truly unimaginable - not the word, because the word is not the thing, and the description is not the described, yet the mind cannot ever think on its own without the soul. Almost every instance, we let our minds set invisible boundaries, limiting our beings. A quiet/still mind is indeed golden, and it makes us see everything extraordinary - ordinary... and I find that so beautiful.

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The song playing got me thinking about the above particular entry, posted back in mid-2006. Were you here? It's funny how sometimes a particular thing will trigger a thought, a thought to a story, a story to a person, a person to a memory... Seems like it always comes back full circle. Yet aren't we in the middle of it all?

How are you these days? I hope everyone is doing well. Recently I know a friend who lost his mother, and a friend who just had her first baby girl! Quite a few birthdays this June/July and a couple of death anniversaries, too. Life is full of ups and downs, along with many 'pop quizzes' here and there... sometimes I wonder how we comprehend! Just today Dr. Urspo talked about Happiness. In the pursuit of happiness, one will never 'get' there cuz it's already here! woohoo! Everything seems to be influenced by the people around us, our upbringing, our surrounding, our faith and beliefs... yet ultimately I believe it stems from our very own thoughts within our mind and soul... Every thing being interconnected.

Or maybe I should just ask Michael to write me a prescription!

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Currently listening:
Nuno Malo - Star Crossing

With all the blockbuster movies that came out recently, Alec and I decided to see Chris & Don on July 4th like we planned. I've been wanting to see this movie since April when I first mentioned it here, and after seeing it last night, I think it's one of the most powerful and intimate love stories ever told on screen. It's always a pleasant surprise when a film turned out to be much more than one expected.

Don Bachardy [the young boy in the film, now 74] showed up last night at the premiere at Nuart Theatre, but we missed him since we saw an earlier show. It would've been nice to have actually met him and hear his words and see him in person. Him and the 2 filmmakers will actually be there this entire weekend for the 2 late shows. I liked the film so much I might just make another appearance.

Currently the film is out on limited release, but you can check to see if it'll be playing in your area. I've always been intrigued by films and pictures where they portray/depict people and person in different time and era through the years... and this movie is no exception. Here again is the trailer to the movie.

I read that they actually met on Valentine's Day in 1953! :-) See the film if you get the chance. Hope every one is having a great weekend. Stay kool.

Where were you and where was I back in the days? Where everything seemed more vast, more free, more simple, and the sun would never set! So it was. Back in '77 my family migrated here to Los Angeles from Hong Kong. Funny I knew a bit of Brit English then and when I came here, I didn't understand a lick of what the Americans were talking about. That made me a very [even more so] quiet boy in school.

I remember visiting my cousin's place every now and then... She would have these 45 rpm's and 8-track cassettes lying about. I never gave it much thought listening to music back then, but these days when I hear the same songs again, all I can think about is "Hey, I'm still here. 30 some odd years later, I'm STILL here!" It's a bit of a sad yet glorious feeling.

I'm thinking my 3 most memorable songs from the late 70's were James Taylor's Handy Man, Dr. Hook's Sharing The Night Together and Fleetwood Mac's Dreams... but oh boy, and many others. So many favorites! When I listen to these tracks, I can't help but to reminisce on the things that I did and didn't do, but I'm sure even some of the most treasured memories have long since forgotten... Time has that affect on me.

Also artists like Bread, Dan Folgelberg, Michael Johnson, JD Souther & Rita Coolidge... I guess I was really into mellow rock back then, if one would call it 'rock' at all. Anyway, silly post innit? Right now I'm listening to Commadores' Easy Like Sunday Morning... the piano in the beginning of the song still gives me goosebumps...

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Currently listening:
James Taylor - Handy Man

I just looked through my old entries and November 23, 2003 was the first time I mentioned photographer Matt Stuart. That was almost 5 years ago... where did the time go?!? bleh.

To this day, I still love his work. Somehow his sense of style reminds me of Pod's. I think their work exposes and reveals the mystery from our every day life... it's like all the things we see, yet we don't take notice. The beauty of the arcane! There are many other photographers that I know here like Lola, Steven, Jason, Derek and Bridie, yet we all take on different approach and agenda. I think it's always so wonderful to see new work... It's what keeps me going!

BTW, thanks SO much Lola for the letter that you sent me last week. I apologize for taking so long to write back. I have not forgotten and am working on my reply! That was such a lovely gesture. Seriously, I just don't know how to top a 4-page handwritten letter!?! Or was it 5? :-)

Take care and have a great week everyone.

Fantastico! Among others, I've posted his website, Hoogerbrugge back in 2001 I believe, and 2002 was when he launched SPIN! What a wonderful piece of work; one of my all time faves. One doesn't need to understand it to like it! Also, check out NAILS... there's one animation in there named 002 - R/D/C/F/K [Rumble, Dance, Chacha, F*ck, Kiss] where you can order a clown to [blank] his maker... hahaha! Oh and 015 - Zombie is quite funny!

I think his sense of style is perfect for my taste. It's mind blowing/numbing/f*cking work and he sure is one to execute such. Enjoy! Happy Thursday everyone.

Did you know that Beck participated in this song? Well he wrote and read the 'poem' towards the middle of the track. I heard his name wasn't mentioned in the credits. I saw Air on tour once and Beck popped outta nowhere and got on stage, but he didn't perform. I myself am not familiar with his music, so I guess it really doesn't matter. *shrug* I like the song. Well that's enough of that.

How are you? I've been a bit sick since Sunday. Started out with a sore throat and finally I took Wednesday off... all morning I sat in front of the television with a runny nose while playing on my PS2. My nose's been either stuff'd up or runny. Today it's runny. I should just go home around lunch time. I haven't done anything 'fun' or exciting lately. I did order a few computer books online... books on web designs and website mash-ups. I can never read enough it seems.

Not much of an interesting post indeedy. What else can I tell you?? Hmm... Two men were walking and they spotted a flag waving in the air. The first man said: "The flag is moving." The second man replied: "No, the air is moving." Then came along a passerby and he told them: "It's your mind that's moving!"

Ehehe! Enjoy the weekend everyone!! xoxo

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Currently listening:
Air - Don't Be Light

Sometimes people would ask me: "How are you doing?", and I tend to say "I'm good!" I'm always good. That seems to be my answer to everyone these days. But how good am I? I could be happy as a clam, but if I had the choice to choose whether to be happy or content, I'd pick the latter. Happiness to me is simple yet profound, and there almost seems to be an airiness to it; contentment is more quiet, and I think it comes from much deeper within us.

I don't know how I could be genuinely happy when I think about what's going on around the world. On the media I see people spend millions of dollars on things they don't need, while in other parts of the country others are gravely ill with little food on the table. The contrast is maddening. The world seems a topsy-turvy place, but not a day go by I don't tell myself how fortunate my life is, and to be here.

You ride on a horse,
while I ride a donkey.
Looks like you are better off than me!
Turning around,
I see a man pushing his cart.
Some are better off than me,
but others less fortunate than myself.

I remember the above story that I read a long while ago. All in the end, doesn't it come down to your own attitude and on how you see your life?

xoxo